Reflections on 2009 and New Opportunities in 2010

A year has quickly come and gone with another one already marching forward. I was deeply blessed to take a three week trip back to the States to see family, friends, and to try and raise more support to continue the ministry in Korea through 2010. Thank you exceedingly much for your support, both financially and spiritually through your prayers. I could not be a part of this ministry without you, and "I thank God in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel" (Philippians 1:3-5).

While I was in the States, one friend asked me to summarize my first year in Korea in 4 words. My first word was "wow", partially because of my poor ability to be concise, but also due to the fact that 2009 was a year of brand new experiences: being in Korea for the first time, being a foreigner for the first time, and being in church planting ministry for the first time. It is hard to step back and truly appreciate and marvel at the uniqueness of this year, since I am right in the middle of it. On occasion, it will hit me, "Jon, you are half a world away from anything you've ever known. Jon, you are surrounded by Koreans. Jon, you are helping to plant a church. Jon, you are even preaching." Bizarre. One day I am sure I will be able to marvel at the experiences I have had at such a young age.

The next three words I chose were "Humility. Broken Expectations." These words are inseparably linked. Humility came though God breaking my own expectations for ministry. Though I would not have verbalized it, I came to Korea with the foolish notion that I could be something in ministry. I could quickly have great conversations with Koreans, teach in a way that would resonate with my students, and leave Korea a totally different person. I do not like to admit this, but that was my initial vision for this ministry. Thankfully, God intervened. After first arriving in Korea, I was told that by merely going into a coffee shop, reading a book, and just being there, Koreans would come over to me and have conversations. In my second full week in Korea, all the Yoo family caught the flu, and I went to do this on a few different occasions. Almost no conversations were had. Nothing of significance to report back to Jae. The only conversation I did have, the Korean I talked to thought I was a mormon. Ministry was not nearly as thrilling as I had envisioned. In the midst of my doubts, God desired to show me that it is only when He opens doors that ministry is possible. Sitting on the subway after trying to connect people in a coffee shop, I had given up for the day. I was going home to rest after another unsuccessful, frustrating day. Yet, as I sat on the subway with no intention of talking, another Korean asked me who I was and what I was doing in Korea. This Korean and two of her friends have been in our church ever since. On another occasion, I was in route to an English church with the Yoo's. Walking with a Korean/English bible in my hand, a canadian named Chris tapped me on the shoulder to ask where I was going. After the service ended, he invited me to a bible study he had started with several other guys. When we began our church, nearly everyone from this bible study joined our body as well as many other people Chris new (nearly 20 people). I was not trying to connect anyone. None of these people came through my efforts. God solely opened these doors. I began to see that ministry is not about my efforts and work. Instead, it is all of God's grace to provide ministry opportunities, usually when I least expect it. I can spend hour after hour, labor with all the energy and strength I have; yet, all of it is vanity apart from God going before me.

When I thought of ministry before coming to Korea, I thought of purely exciting work: day-to-day, heartfelt conversations with Koreans, soul-stirring classes and bible studies where Koreans could really grasp the gospel (through my teaching, of course), connecting many Koreans to our ministry through being a foreigner, and having wonderful relationships with most everyone in the church. Instead, I spent much of my time in the first year making bulletins, printing songs for services, cleaning our office, struggling to connect with Koreans, typing up agendas for different meetings, passing our fliers for our church, and doing lots of different administrative work. Ministry was far more normal, humble, and similar to life than I had hoped. Instead of being fulfilled and doing remarkable things for God, I was being humbled and exposed for my selfish, false expectations. Rather than doing work where I could share a great number of incredible, missionary stories, God desired for me to do humbling, often unnoticed work. Feeling insignificant, I was brought to see that I was making ministry all about me. In the first sermon I preached on a Sunday morning this fall, I was reminded what I was missing in ministry through the example of Jesus washing His disciples' feet. At the end of his life, on his way to the most miserable death in history, Jesus found it utterly necessary to do the work of a slave, work that no one in Jewish culture would have desired to do. Yet, Jesus, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, the one who upholds the universe by the word of His power (as one person said, His pinky), condescended to wash His disciples feet. This was not just a one-time occurrence; it was merely an extension of all Jesus' ministry. Everything Jesus did was the work of a humble servant that often was unnoticed. In fact, nearly all that Jesus did in His life was not understood, appreciated, or grasped in its significance and sacrificial love. Instead, Jesus was despised for becoming a man, rejected for His life of self-giving love, and forsaken by all for what was the greatest act of love every displayed in giving His life for all sinners who would believe in Him. A servant is not greater than his master, and humbling work is not to be the exception, but the norm for the believer. Ministry does not have to do with me looking or feeling significant but everything to do with reflecting Jesus through humble service.

As a new year is dawning, it is tempting for me and our staff in the church to see this first year of humbling learning experiences as merely the backdrop for the ministry that is taking place this year. Many different Koreans are beginning to come into our body. Opportunities abound in regard to me starting a small group, bible study, and getting involved in Koreans' lives. Every week unbelievers and nominal Christians are getting to hear the gospel. God is definitely doing some incredible things. Yet, the lessons our staff and I learned about ministry in 2009 are invaluable. Without them, we would not know what ministry is. Before we could give the gospel to others, we had to learn to believe it ourselves in the face of adversity and brokenness. Praise God that He loves us enough to give us what we need, not what we want.

I am very excited to share the coming year with you. It will be far different than what I expect, which I'm learning is a wonderful blessing. As we all venture into a new year, I want to leave you with this benediction from Paul that reminds us how God transcends all mine and your expectations for our ultimate good in Christ: "Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen" (Ephesians 3:20-21).

Children. Preaching. Thanksgiving.

This is a picture of my library reading class that I taught over the past 10 Saturdays from 2-3p.m. I had my last class this past weekend, and I was very saddened to say goodbye to the kids who came. This one hour became one of the most enjoyable times of the week for me. No technology, no stuff...just an open room, two books, a foreigner, and anywhere from 10-20 kids sitting on the floor together. It is so easy to make life all about things, to-do lists, busyness, a routine, and suck the life out of life without any sense of wonder, imagination at something bigger than my own small world. In a metropolitan city, this problem is magnified exponentially. The family is affected by this deeply. Father's work well into the night in order to provide for their family with more and more money to ensure their kids get the best education, go to the best university, so they can get well-paid jobs to earn more money and do the same thing for their family. The saddest part about this process/cycle is that the the very basis of work and all of life is lost and forgotten: relationships. Instead of spending face-to-face time with each other, families rarely get to all be together. How ironic that the very component of life that is idolized--family--is actually seldom enjoyed or experienced. I find this to be such a temptation for all people: you can spend all your life trying to arrive, earn enough money, do enough to gain some sort of status, even provide for the people you love, and yet totally miss the people right in front of you and never actually live enjoying and loving one another. These children reminded me to never forget how important and powerful it is when people actually spend time together, being where they are; so simple, yet utterly profound when all we usually are thinking about is the place we are not. Getting to be in a room without distractions, free to explore, free to listen, free to talk, and to learn about each other...what a blessing! All I had to do was listen, ask questions, show care, and these kids opened up about anything and everything. I'm not trying to say that kids are innocent and free from sin; far from it, they could rarely, if ever, hide their sin, as children just say what they think and do what they want. Yet, in doing so, I found it so refreshing that these kids were who they were. They didn't hide. The shy ones were shy. The talkative ones kept talking. All showed both the God-given common grace and the fallenness of all humanity. My last class I picked my favorite children's book for our last reading: "The Giving Tree." I asked the kids, how could the tree be so happy to give up everything it had for a person who did not even care about or love it? They certainly could not see the reasoning behind it when I asked if they would be happy to give everything they had for someone who didn't even really care for them, who just kept wanting more. At this point, I could not help but tell them about God's love for sinners in giving up all He had for people who did not care. More than that, God gave His Son for people who hated and crucified Him. Why? This is the question where words do not suffice, where we can only be lost in love, awe, joyful tears, and wonder that God is as loving and good to embrace sinners like you and me. I really hope God spoke to some of those kids and leads them to discover true Life in Him. Hopefully, some of them will remember the invitation I gave to my children's bible story classes, so they can hear and discover the gospel.

Since I last updated you, I've had three different opportunities to preach, two times in our new PM Fellowship service, as well as once for our morning service. The first time I preached was an intense battle. I went up to the podium, prepared with content, yet completely unfit for spiritual battle. I did not expect that in looking out at the audience, how much I would be tempted to forget the message and just think about how people were receiving what I was saying. Though God gave me the grace to get through the message, I was carried more by my perception of what people thought of me than by the message of the gospel. Thus, preaching immediately exposed a deep idol in my heart: wanting favor from people more than God Himself. Humbling truth. The second time I preached in the morning service was a far greater blessing. Though it was anything but perfect, I learned from my first experience how important it was to preach the message to myself first, letting the gospel expose my own heart and my idolatry before I even think to look at others. It was a tremendous blessing to actually be more focused on the message, and to know God's love and presence while giving His people the message of Jesus. What a wonderful, freeing truth to rediscover that preaching, ministry, and life is not about me but all about Christ! After preaching a third time, it is well apparent that I have a great deal to learn. I find myself just wanting to be great at preaching and ministry in no time at all, while God desires for me to be refined and sanctified by trials, reproof, discipline, hardship, and failure to see that I will forever need the gospel. I can't say that I always enjoy this process (dread is a far more accurate word), but it constantly shows me that what I need to desire is not to be or possess something that will somehow, in my own estimation, make me valuable. Rather, I need to desire Christ, the only One who gives lasting value. May God continue this refining process through preaching and ministry to slowly but surely mold me into the man He desire me to be.

Wow...today is Thanksgiving! I must say that I miss the presence of family, friends, and great thanksgiving food; yet, the presence of absence reveals the worth of its object, which means that this Thanksgiving I have even more reason to be thankful for what God has given me. In being away from family and friends, I've been reminded how richly blessed I am to have all of you in my life. Not only that, but God has changed a foreign country into a formative, blessed place of new family and friends. Though it takes time for these relationships to grow deeper, and for honesty, freedom, and depth to be born in them, I can say that if I were to leave this country today that I would miss this place and the people in it very much. Now, wherever I go, I will not feel entirely at home in the world, as I have now experienced the beginning reality of my identity as an exile and sojourner in this world. Part of me hates to be an exile, as I hate to be away from people I love. I desire to have all my worlds collide, having everyone in my own world together to enjoy now. Yet, what I am slowly beginning to realize is that I need to not feel at home in this world. If I had everything the way I wanted, my roots would be dug into the soil of this world, not into the true home that God has prepared for me in Christ. What is more, when I dig my roots in the world, relationships, ministry, good or bad experiences, it does not matter how great any of those things are; they will leave me disappointed, hopeless, rootless without a true identity that comes through Jesus Christ alone. God's path is far better than the world/kingdom of my own expectations and desires. Not that I believe this most days of the week. More often than not, I come to believe it through the groanings, pains, afflictions, and disappointments of daily life where God breaks me of my false, worthless idols and reminds me that what I really need to give me joy is always there, no matter the circumstances in my life: Him. My Father loves me with an unbreakable love. My Jesus has died for me and paid for my sin and has risen and freed me from both sin and death. I have nothing to fear. I am forgiven. I am secure. I will not be forsaken. I belong to Jesus. I am bound for the promised land. This is my identity! Not sin, guilt, my failure, my success, my ministry, my works, my relationships, my work...nothing but Jesus! How different would my life be if I daily lived out of my ultimate identity in Christ, rather than the earthly identities/broken cisterns that I put on each day? Tim Keller pointed out in a sermon on Jesus being "The Lord of the wine" how we are in control of our joy. In other words, everything that needs to happen for us to have joy has already occurred! Christ/joy has come into our hearts, even living and welling up within us through the Holy Spirit! Because of this, I do not need to look for joy. I have it through Jesus forever and ever! Yet how often do I live as if joy were alien to my experience, seeking for life in everything but Jesus, while living in anxiety, boredom, guilt, works, relationships, and the highs and lows of human experience? Oh that the Spirit would lead me to preach to my heart every day that I have every reason to take joy in whatever circumstances I find myself in, because I am my beloved's and my Beloved's mine! I have every reason to abound this Thanksgiving as God continues to provide for me in more ways than I could imagine.

Happy thanksgiving, family and friends! Thank you for sharing in my life, and for giving me cause to be exceedingly thankful today. Through your friendship, God has revealed Jesus Christ to me. May all the blessings He gives lead us to value the One who blesses infinitely more; for, the treasure is not in the gifts He gives; it is Him. May that reality lead us to see that for all of eternity we have every reason to abound in joy and thanksgiving through Jesus Christ--even He who is sovereignly directing, guiding, and shepherding every stage and detail of our lives to experience and know Him alone as the pearl of greatest price, the fountain of living waters, and our eternally loving bridegroom.

Full Living in Korea

Today is Chuseok weekend, one of the biggest holidays in Korea! For the first time since I've been in Seoul, the city isn't actually overflowing with people, cars, and busyness! I've also been blessed with a weekend break to rest, reflect, and also to share with you of the many things God has been doing here in Korea. (Oh, and for the information of my Grandparents and family, I spent much of today with Kristin Mutchler, her husband Gary, and her parents who are visiting from China! We had a great time together! God is so good to bring family together on this foreign holiday!).

These past couple of months have been full of many significant happenings, graces, lessons, and blessings. One of the first to note, as most all of you probably know, is that my Grandparents, Packa and Geemaw that is : ), came to visit me in Seoul from August 20-September 3! I was blessed so deeply to have them here, amazed by the bravery and love of my Grandparents to come half way around the world to share and experience the new life and world God has brought me in. We stayed in a beautiful hotel together with a breathtaking view of the city. Among my favorite times, in fact, with Packa and Geemaw were simply sitting together to fellowship, eat, and talk, while looking out at the wonderful view we had. Spending time with Packa and Geemaw always reminds me that the best moments and times in life don't center on events and what you are doing; rather, they center on just being in the presence of the people God puts in our lives to show us His truth and love. That is not to say, however, that we didn't have many adventures together! On the contrary, our time together was very eventful, as we traveled to a beautiful Korean Island overnight, enjoyed seeing the COEX Aquarium, took a day trip to the Demilitarized Zone that divides South and North Korea (a very moving time), and took a cruise down the Han river on one of our last nights together. I also was blessed to hear Packa preach again one of the Sundays he was here, hearing another great sermon from Hebrews! It was wonderful to have my Grandparents worship in the church I'm serving in here and to meet our body and the people that God has brought into my life. I mentioned in my last blog how having Will Joseph here provided one of the first moments where the two worlds I've experienced finally intersected. Having Geemaw and Packa come made these two worlds merge ever closer, bringing such a significant part of 'home' into this new life. Now, through people in Covenant church meeting and seeing me with my Grandparents, I feel far more connected and known. What a blessed grandson I am to have my Grandparents! They are some of the dearest and best friends I have, and I am so thankful God gave us this time together. I will never forget it.

I also mentioned in my last update that we were prayerfully considering and looking for a new place for our church to move. Well, September 7, we moved into a new space! We were waiting for a big commercial building to open that real estate people were telling would be open for months. Yet, it just wasn't opening and kept getting pushed back. Then suddenly, this space opened up with a reduced price at a much better rate than normal, and God paved the way for us to move! We have since resumed our Korean worship service, along with continuing our English worship service, and are just starting to get settled into the new place. There is enough space to fit well over 100 people in the sanctuary, and there is also plenty of room for additional class rooms and office space! God has certainly been very good to us! I would ask you to please pray that God would continue providing for our church plant. The new space is more expensive, as it is very costly to move into any spaces in a metropolitan city like Seoul. Pray that our trust and efforts would all be grounded in unwavering, firm trust in Jesus Christ as our Savior, Lord, Sustainer, Guard, Guide, and Treasure. So much is happening and it is very easy to miss the purpose for all that we are doing. We are getting ready to Launch Small Groups in a couple weeks. We are starting an evening fellowship meeting with the young men in our church, including me, to lead messages through the book of Acts that starts October 11. We've just been blessed with another full-time staff, Jin Won, a married 30 year old Korean, who will play my role in the Korean service and work to connect more Koreans and people to our body. We are getting ready to reach out much more fully into our community through offering many classes for children, and a few for adults as well, while also just trying to serve the people and city we are in to share and show the love of Christ. Not only that, but Pastor Yoo has asked me to preach for the first time in my life on either October 25 or November 1. Pray for me, the Yoo's, Jin Won, and all our church to be grounded and centered in Jesus Christ that all we do as a body would be subordinated to our chief purpose of sharing Christ and His gospel in truth and action. Pray that, as we serve, we would rely wholehearted and solely on Christ, who alone is the architect and builder of the church. Pray that in the midst of all our efforts we would submit to Christ's vision and purpose for our church that is far beyond our imagination and expectations.

Recently, God has been showing me how in spite of my constant application of the gospel to the lives of others that I rarely apply the gospel to my own life. This truth hit me deeply on my day off this Monday. I was alone the entire day with little activity and felt completely worthless. I tried filling the time up with significant things I could do...reading, thinking, brainstorming what I could be doing. Nothing came. I tried getting together with a couple people, and sure enough, as I was informed later, they didn't have their phone with them. Little did I know what God was up to. I went to Hangang park, which is about a 15 minute walk away from my place. Attempting to rid myself of feeling useless and insignificant, I read through a couple books while sitting out on a bench with a view of the Han river. I read and read and read, trying to piece together my cluttered mind. Finally, after reading sections of a couple different books for around an hour and a half, I started writing. In the middle of writing, trying to make sense of where my heart was, suddenly the truth dawned on me: "I want so desperately to wake up one day and just be whole, together without need. The truth is, I want the gospel for others but nor for me. I want to master the gospel without having to need the gospel. I want to prove that I know and get the gospel without having to see my brokenness, depravity, incompleteness, insufficiency." You see, you can never be a master of the gospel but always a student of it, because one can never fully grasp the gospel. You can never plumb the depths of what Christ has done in the gospel and what it means for yours and my own lives. I had forgotten. I had tried to be a master of the greatest mystery and glory that has ever existed, rather than submitting, resting, and trusting in my gracious, good, kind, and glorious Master in the midst of life. All the while, I forgot the mysterious ways of God revealed in giving us this life that is filled with blessing in all different shapes and providences for our growth and trust in Him: days that are lonely, dry, ordinary, tough, wonderful, clear, confusing, sorrowful, joyful, memorable, forgetful, dark, bright. He does this, so that I wouldn't seek blessings from Him in certain types of days and moments, but so I would actually learn to rest, trust, hope, and find my greatest treasure in Jesus Christ, the fountain of living waters. How sweet to have my heart reopened to Christ and the beautiful gospel that enables me to face life, face me in the hardest, weakest, dullest, most hypocritical places of my being. Pray that God would continually give me a broken and open heart to see Christ no matter what He sends me. Pray that I wouldn't rest in feeling significant in myself and my performance, but that I would trust daily and entirely in Jesus in the deepest places of my heart. Ministry isn't glamorous or significant in itself. In fact, it is usually quite ordinary and humbling, anything but what I expected. Yet Christ is in all of it, breathing His life into the seemingly mundane and, in the process, transforming me, a supposed minister, through giving me Himself not what my idolatrous heart expects and wants for myself. Oh that I would see, believe, and behold Jesus more and more! May I endless pursue to know Him more and more, while always remembering that I can never see Him clearly enough, nor ever get beyond Him. May I, finally, through seeing Him learn to live humbly as His follower to serve faithfully, patiently, and continually to show Christ no matter what the circumstances are.

Thank you for how you have shared and shown me Jesus Christ, family and friends! I love you guys so much and pray that you would be filled with the grace and love of Jesus Christ in whatever place God has you in your lives. He is greater than our circumstances. He is greater than our sin. He is greater than our desires. He is greater than our fears. He is yours and He is mine now and forever. May we learn to rest in Him in all that He sees fit to give us.

July: Another Full Month Past

You know by now that a recurring theme for my blog updates is time, both in my inability to give timely updates and in my unending wonder of how quickly time passes. Over a month later, a year older, and well over halfway through 2009, I am here (late as usual) to recap my full, momentous, and blessed month of July in Korea.

God richly blessed me right at the beginning of July on my birthday week. Will Joseph (see above left picture--the other American in the middle), a great friend from Belhaven that now works for Redeemer New York as a missionary to China, came to South Korea to visit Jae Yoo and I! On his way back from a mission trip to China, it was an easy and opportune trip to take! I cannot begin to tell you how enjoyable and exciting it was to have a friend I only knew in Mississippi be with me in South Korea! Since Michael and Dorothy Preston left South Korea in March, there had been no connection between life in the States and life on the other side here. When I was blessed to take a short trip back to MS in May for my sister's graduation to see her, family, and friends, Korea almost felt like a dream. No real, tangible connection existed between the two worlds I experienced. There was my former life growing up at home and in college. Then there was my new life in Korea that felt like a new world altogether. There was almost no way for me to explain or put the other world into words. Seeing, talking to, and fellowshiping with Will formed a bridge for the two worlds. Part of me could not fathom how Will and I went from sitting down and talking about college, life, and theology in Mississippi at Newks to sitting down and talking about the church in Asia and America, life, and God's work in South Korea! Such a humbling, striking, and surprising reality to me that God has seen fit to use two young sinners like us to serve and watch God's Kingdom and church grow together globally. I don't deserve to have this opportunity, nor am I worthy to be a part of such a work. Yet God has brought me here to display His power in my weakness, to show me and lead me to repent of my sad, pathetic, sinful attempts at building my own kingdom. All this He does that I might see the glory and wonder of His victorious and global Kingdom with Jesus as the King, the Truth, the Love, the Power, the Glory, the Way, and the Message and me as His messenger, pointing others to Him and never to myself. What a sweet blessing to see and hear God working through another fellow brother I knew while at Belhaven! The time flew by so quickly with Will, Jae, and I having numerous conversations, great meals, late nights, deep laughter, empowering encouragement, mutual upbuilding, and wonderful storytelling! How gracious and kind my God is to have provided such a time of refreshment during my birthday week in Korea!

The other momentous occasion in July came just a week later for our first church retreat (see above picture on the right). 20 people from our body gathered together for a weekend (Friday night-Saturday evening) of fellowship, relaxtion, worship, and spiritual refreshment in a retreat center surrounded by breathtaking Korean mountains! Though I have enjoyed living in the city of Seoul, it is very difficult to find solitude, untainted creation, and fresh air here, as is the case in most massive metropolitan cities. With these facts in mind, our retreat to the Korean countryside was a most welcome, delightful, and rejuvenating time! Korean mountains are just flat-out gorgeous, being immersed in a sea of trees. It was such a blessing to no longer be surrounded by tall, thin sky-scrapers in Seoul but to now replace them with these beautiful mountains. During our retreat, we had plenty of reminders of the Western world, as we feasted on the likes of hot dogs, hamburgers, chips, and beans for dinner; pancakes, bacon, and eggs for breakfast; and barbecue for lunch. Worlds can and do, indeed, collide...as our stomachs could all attest. : ) One of the most refreshing parts of our retreat was swimming in the lake nearby. Though very cold and difficult to take the plunge in, those brave souls who found the strength and fortitude to do so were richly rewarded with an incredible time...me included. : ) One of the main purposes of the retreat was for spiritual refreshment and fellowship. God definitely blessed and fed our souls with these gifts through our time of worship, and especially through sharing our testimonies, stories, and devotionals in small groups. Though our body is a very unique and diverse mix of individuals, God is making us a very close community, as we get to know each other more. I am discovering over and over gain how much I need community. My identity, problems, sin, body, life, vision, hopes, and story is not my own for me to figure out; it is the possession of Jesus Christ and His church. Unless I embrace this reality in my life, I cannot grow, nor be the man that God has created me to be. I can only grow as an individual in Christ as I am deeply involved in His community that He has put me in to make us all reflect His Son to each other and the word from one degree of glory to another. Thank God that He never leaves us isolated in ourselves without hope and help outside of us, but that He continually enwraps us in the light of His presence and community. I am so thankful to be a part of Covenant church in Korea.

Please keep Covenant church and I in your prayers. As each day, week, and month passes, there are so many new adventures and challenges God brings for our body. Currently, we have just started a Worship team to oversee, plan, and lead our worship each Sunday and in other occasions when we meet. We are also preparing to launch small groups in the fall with leadership training scheduled for September and the actual small groups to start in October. Along with this, we are prayerfully planning and raising support for moving to a new location in the next month or two, so we can connect and bring more people into our body to worship God (our current space can only fit about 40 people). These next few months are going to be an intensely busy and exciting time. Please be praying for God to center us in the gospel during the mountain highs and valley lows that He sends to mature and transform us. Also, pray that I would be earnest in seeking to show and share Jesus Christ in this community and city. Over and over again, I struggle with living for myself, trying always to be significant in the eyes of others to bring my own name renown and praise. Pray that God would unveil and reveal this subtle and deadly sin to me each day, leading me to constant repentance and faith in Him for the sake of His name and His renown alone.

Finally, I thank you all from my heart for your deep involvement and impact in my life. As I said before, we are not self-made individuals. We become who we are through Christ and the community and people He puts around us. I would not be in Korea, nor would I be who I am today apart from God putting you in my life. I think of you all often, as your example, words, and love continually encourage, exhort, and challenge me throughout my time in Korea. Thank you for leading me to Jesus...to see and discover more of His presence, power, love, and truth. With Paul, I pray for and thank you in these powerful words of God:

"I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace...For God is my witness, how I yearn for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus. And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God." --Philippians 1:3-11

A Long-Awaited Update

Greetings from South Korea! Once again, the interval of time between blog updates has been way too long and it is now June. Already, I’ve been in this foreign land that is becoming more familiar by the day for 5 months. One of the most unique elements of life in Korea is the # of people here. South Korea is about the same size as Mississippi with 70% if its land consisting of mountains. Nevertheless, while Mississippi contains around 2.5 million people, South Korea is filled with 48 million people! It’s remarkable how many people they can fit in such a small country. What you also may find interesting about South Korea is that while most of the west is quite concerned about the unknown planning and plotting of North Korea, South Koreans really are not too worried. Though they do make military preparations and seek to join together with other countries to make a hard stance against North Korea’s nuclear program, the common Korean sees NK and Kim Jong il as a mere threatening, annoying voice that never goes away but that rarely acts as powerfully as their threats. It may also help that most of the world stands against North Korea to support and defend South Korea. Whether or not they threaten and attempt to harm other countries, North Korea desperately needs the gospel. Seeing video from their country is horrifying, as nearly all people there believe Kim Jong il to be a god, as they have been raised to believe and think from birth. The saddest thing about the North Korean government is that rather than providing food and care for their own people they spend all their resources to build this nuclear program meant to bring some semblance of power to this very small country. May God break through in this country to bring the gospel and His Kingdom to bear upon this weary, hurting country to bring light into the darkness to shine the glory of His grace in the midst of tyranny and evil—just what He did on the cross.

God continues to build up and bless our baby church! Our focus has not been so much on growing in #’s as it has been on growing internally with the near 25 people in Covenant.One of the ways God has really been nurturing and blessing our church is through our newly started Wednesday night Praise, Testimony and Prayer that we started three weeks ago! Having a time in the middle of the week where we can worship, pray, and fellowship together is such a refreshing blessing and is definitely leading us to know each other more deeply and grow closer. I think that one of the strongest elements of our church that God is building lies in community fellowship. After every service on Sunday that we have had people stay to fellowship well after the service and then go out to eat together. God has definitely put a mutual hunger for fellowship in most every one of the people He has brought to our church, and I pray that He would strengthen that bond and lead us to bless, encourage, challenge, exhort, pray for, and love one another more and more.

Music is an immensely deep and beautiful gift of God! Ryan Dixon, a relatively new member in our church, has reminded me of this truth through playing the guitar last Wednesday and also Sunday with Hannah Yoo on the piano. Before I knew Ryan could play the guitar, I had been kicking myself for not learning to play the guitar, as I really wanted to introduce songs from R.U.F. to our church. Then, Ryan came up to me a couple weeks ago after our service and told me he led R.U.F. worship at the University of Tennessee a couple years ago and would love to help with our music in whatever way he could. God is incredible! The most powerful moment of worship came last Wednesday when we sang “O the deep, deep love of Jesus.” Everyone singing was lost in the wonder of what we were singing, as voices were raised and lifted together to mimic the deep, overwhelming, powerful image of Jesus’ love: “O the deep, deep love of Jesus, vast, unmeasured, boundless, free! Rolling as a mighty ocean in its fullness over me! Underneath me, all around me is the current of Thy love!” I felt as though we were inside of this hymn while singing together, being fully immersed in the ocean of Jesus’ love that is deeper, wider, higher, longer, and more powerful than any other Truth, love, and reality ever in existence! While on most days I am swallowed up by the cares, concerns, wants, and needs of my flesh and this world, I was experiencing and being called instead to be lost and swallowed up in the deep, deep love of Jesus. As David himself said so beautifully, “Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you” (Psalm 63:3).

A central truth I have been seeing in the past week lies in the presence and person of the Holy Spirit. On my own, I have no ability to grasp and be transformed by the Truth of Jesus Christ and the gospel. Not only this, but alone I cannot even see the power and Truth of the Word of God, as I discovered in going through a dry team where the Word and prayer were anything but alive and vibrant in me. I could read more and more, yet the Word was almost unopened to me. What God has revealed to me in opening His word to me again is that I will be blind and deaf to God apart from His presence through the Holy Spirit. I can't just go to the Word and expect to get something out of it. I must patiently and continually ask that God fill me with His Spirit to reveal the Truth of the Word that is not simply informative but transformative. Sure, I can open the Bible and learn about different aspects of it in my mind; but without the Spirit, I cannot have the Word change my heart and life. The Word of God is not preeminently a book of information that has power in itself to change. Instead, the Word of God is first and foremost a Person, who alone has the power to lead, guide, and change hearts. When I come to God's Word, as I often forget, I'm not coming to a book in an attempt to get something out of it for my own benefit; I'm coming to commune with a Person in order to see, know, and love Him more. Only through the Spirit's ongoing, continual, active work in my heart will I truly see and experience this beautiful reality, have my own life opened up before the Word, and have the Word Himself opened to me that I might worship and be transformed in His presence. Oh that my life would be opened continually by the Word of God, Jesus Christ, that I might be driven to a life of constant communion with Him and those in our Covenant community would also be driven to see, know, and behold Jesus Christ in true, daily, intimate, challenging, life-changing worship.

Please continue to keep me, the Yoo's, and Covenant Church in your prayers. It is so exciting to be a part of a fresh, new church plant in seeing every step of how God grows and forms a Body of believers. I am priviledged and humbled to be a part of this work, and know that God is just beginning to challenge and make us into the people He wants us to be. Pray that our focus would be on being transformed as individuals and a community through the presence and person of Jesus Christ on a daily basis that our lives would be nothing less than a constant outpouring of Christ and His truth and love to each other, and the lost and broken people of this city. Thank you deeply for your support and prayers, as I would not be here without you. You are all an immense blessing to me, and please let me know how you are doing and how I can be praying for you as God continues to conform you to the image of Jesus. I leave you with this glorious prayer of Paul for the church, and I for all of us:

"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith--that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." --Ephesians 3:14-21

Life in South Korea

Wow...its been far too long since I last posted. Time presses on so quickly and subtly, being quite a mystery. On the one hand, the older I get the more each year feels far longer than a year when I think of all the momentous changes and events that took place. Yet, on the other hand, because so much happens so fully and quickly, the more each year feels like it's continually running on fast forward. One thing's for sure, I take far too many days and moments for granted, as I am blessed beyond belief through the provision of God in giving me all of you, the Yoo's, the church I'm a part of, the friends I'm making in Korea, health, food, a place to live, and a rich and full life. More than all of that, though, I have been given a Savior, who has given up His glory, beauty, and life for me, and who is risen from the dead today and forever! How often I miss the wondrous, life-changing dimensions of the resurrection that we've just celebrated: the risen Christ is alive, and not just as an abstraction, but as a living Being in me, who makes every moment and part of my life overflowing with purpose and meaning through Him. Death has no hold on me, fear has been put to rest, and I share in the love and glory of God, my Father, as I am His, and He is mine. What if I actually lived like that were true? Nothing could be more real and vital, and I rarely even meditate on the resurrection of my Lord and Savior. I pray that David's psalm/song would become mine: "I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the grave, not will you let your Holy One see decay" (Psalm 16:8-10). May we live every moment of every day in the full, unshakable knowledge that our God will never abandon us, because of Christ and His resurrection. May we live boldly, fully, and sacrificially to lead others into this deep, life-transforming assurance and salvation in Jesus.

I am very excited to tell you that over the past three weeks Covenant Church has begun worshiping together! We have both a Korean and English worship service with the former at 1p.m. and the latter at 3:30p.m. The English service has been the larger of the two thus far with up to 20 people in one of our service's, consisting of both believers and nonbelievers. After concluding each English service, we've had a group of 10+ people stay with us for fellowship and eat dinner together, which has been a very rich blessing. God is beginning to form community in our small body, and I have really enjoyed being a part of it! I am definitely starting to feel a lot more connected here since we've started worship, and as relationships with friends and people I'm meeting are beginning to deepen. Living as Christ's body is a tremendous challenge, and please pray that God would really show us how to move deeper into fellowship, and to love each other and all those who come to be a part of this body. There's a great deal of excitement in starting a church, developing gospel vision and community, and coming together to make strangers family. Yet, having said that, there's an immense challenge in starting a church as well, since it's a constant temptation to rely on numbers, worldly ideas of success, and become more wrapped up in pride in what we're doing and saying, rather than trust and faithfulness in what God is doing and promised. Please, please keep me, the Yoo's, and this church in your prayers, as things are constantly developing, challenges are always arising, and sin and pride is constantly tempting and raising its ugly head. Pray for God to root US in the gospel in the process of this church and ministry, making us see that to lead is to be led by Christ, never to lead by our own gifts, righteousness, and strength. I'm learning more and more how difficult following Christ and the gospel in leadership is, and more often than not I put myself and being affirmed before Christ and the gospel being proclaimed. Pray for repentance in my heart over my daily sin, and for constant meditation and faith in Jesus that I would always be led to live through Him in His perfect life, death, and resurrection in this church and ministry.

These last two weeks have been crazy and a whole lot of fun! I've had 4 different people stay with me in my little room 12 out of the last 15 nights, as a friend named Sky needed a place to stay for 5 nights before leaving for Southeast Asia; a friend named Chris needed to say for 4 nights before he moved into his new apartment for his new teaching position; an friend named Emmanuel came over for 1 night for fellowship; and a friend on our Launch Team came up for the weekend to teach and be in our service's. God definitely used these busy, often tiring days to deepen and grow these relationships and provide great encouragement and blessing for all of us. It's such a blessing to begin to really meet and share in the lives of other people here.

Though these past few weeks have been filled with work and busyness, bulletin making, worship preparation for presiding in the English service, class teaching and preparation, outreach, they have also been filled with times of great fun and enjoyment! I went to the Dangsan festival with two Korean friends named Ji-son, and Jung-he, along with a member of our Launch Team, to see the beautiful cherry blossoms and other flowers in bloom and ride bikes--awesome time! I also went to Suwon with Dan Baker and Kelly De Boer, two members of our Launch Team, and Jae Yoo to see a famous Korean castle and bell tower! It was such a beautiful Spring day in Korea, as cherry blossoms were everywhere in full bloom, and we were able to stop working in an office and enjoy God's beautiful, living creation! I'm really beginning to enjoy living in Korea, as I meet more people, grow closer to friends, see more of this country, and learn more about who people are. It has such a beautiful, enriching blessing to see God provide for me on the other side of the world, and to see over and over again that He is present everywhere to impart Christ, and the life-giving power of the gospel that is manifested in every place. God is definitely deepening my desire to be, live, and serve here, and I pray that He would continually teach me what it means to really and truly love Him here in my daily walk, and to love the people in Korea that He brings into my path each day. God's resurrection life is everywhere present and manifested in all the world, and I pray for eyes, ears, and a heart to see, hear, and embrace Him and those around me. I'm so bad at that, and the more I see the reality of what Christ's life, death, and resurrection mean, the more I see my failure. Thankfully, that is exactly where God shows us Jesus and His grace, mercy, and power. May you know, see, hear, and believe that very gospel and its glorious mystery, Christ in you, every day that you live. Nothing in mine and your life is beyond the Sovereign grace of God but all flows from that life well, being given to us that we might come to know and share more of Christ while it is still today. May we always exhort one another to live in Christ, standing firm in Him, confessing in Him, rejoicing in Him, giving Him, dying to ourselves in Him, living in Him, and finding all that we are and have in Him. You are missed and prayed for in South Korea. Please let me know more specifically how I can be praying for you as well. It is such a joy to share in your lives, and to share my life with you. So long from the other side!

Wednesday in Korea

Mornings in Korea are one of my favorite parts of each day. At 10a.m. each work day, Jae, Hannah, and I meet in our Church Office, one of us shares a Scriptural devotional, we talk about what we have to do for the day, and then we pray together. For all of us, this time has become one of the most vital, enjoyable, and important parts of our ministry. In it, God forms our hearts through His word and prayer to entrust ourselves and this Church to His will, purpose, and faithfulness. This morning it was my turn to share the devotional, and I shared about God's unrelenting commitment to loving and pursuing us, His people, in some of the most beautiful and striking passages in Scripture: Isaiah 53:1-5; 54:1, 4-10; and 55:1-3. As you know from reading many of my blogs, I'm a great sinner that thinks of myself and my own significance and plans far too much. The past few days I've been very weary over myself and my sin, wanting so desperately to be free of me. I was utterly shaken and awe-struck in viewing these Scriptures, as Christ took on our ugliness and shame, giving up His beauty, so that we could be made beautiful. The way in which God speaks to us, His people, in this passage is astounding. He speaks as a husband to a humiliated barren woman, that feels ashamed and worthless by the culture and everyone. But God redefines her by identifying Himself as her husband, saying such calming and striking words of compassion: "Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood" (Isaiah 54:4). Shame and fear plague every soul that has ever existed. We constantly wear coverings in a desperate attempt to hide the ugliness inside of us. Whether it's fig leaves, fashionable clothes, external beauty, ministry, good works, friends, or whatever else, we are experts in trying to cover our shame and fear. The beautiful thing that God does is that He sees us completely naked and exposed in our fear and shame, and HE covers us with Himself. He takes hold of our ugliness, becomes it, and makes us beautiful through His Son, so that we no longer have to fear or face shame. How amazing to be reminded of this, and to know that though I tire of myself that God never does. He never will abandon, forsake, or get tired of any of His people. As He Himself says, "Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed, says the Lord, who has compassion on you" (54:10). The beauty of Jesus is beyond anything I will ever be able to understand, communicate, or feel, and how sweet to taste of it this morning!

After the devotional and time of prayer, I spent a good portion of the day finishing the bulletin for our Launch Team Worship service this coming Sunday! I am in charge of putting all the information together for the bulletin, and then a friend and member of our Launch Team will design the bulletin to actually make it artistic and creative. It has been a really fun process, and we are so excited to begin worshiping as a body! Our first official worship service will be March 29th! We will not start off as a large church body, but we are really convinced that God is calling us to begin worshiping Him together, as a gospel-centered community with however many or few come. It really is such a blessing to be in this ministry with the Yoo's. They give me a lot of freedom and opportunity to serve, and I am so blessed to grow in relationship to them here.

For Lunch, after doing some work on the bulletin, Jae and I went out to eat at a wonderful steak restaurant. Each Wednesday Jae and I go out to eat to talk about how we're both doing personally and spiritually, which is such a source of growth and blessing. We had tenderloin steaks, salad, soup, and a little bowl of Ice Cream--not quite the authentic Korean meal, I know, but it was delicious! : ) The fellowship was also great, as we talked about the ministry, how we are both doing, and learning how to rest and live in the love of God in the midst of many different emotions and seasons of life. What a blessing Jae has been to me, as a brother, leader, pastor, and c0-ambassador of Jesus Christ.

This afternoon Jae and I went to pick out a movie for my Movies and Media Class that I have each Friday. This coming class we're going to watch a Korean movie (that thankfully has Korean subtitles), and it should be a great time, as always. The class is a whole lot of fun for getting to fellowship and talk to a group of Koreans and foreigners about different issues in the movies we watch, especially since it is such a great opportunity to share the love of Christ with nonbelievers who are coming. After renting the movie, I continued the final work on the bulletin, sent it to Dan Baker to help make it aesthetically pleasing, and then prepared for my Children's Bible Story Class this evening (the above picture shows the kids and I after class a few weeks ago--they're tons of fun!). Tonight, after first learning new vocabulary and playing some games, I shared about the story of Joseph, which is such an incredible story! Each week I am teaching these kids--most of which are nonbelievers and have never heard the Bible--about how these stories all show how the Bible is God's story of how He rescues His people (the awesome thing is that most of the kids can even recite and remember this definition for what the Bible is!). The stories of the Bible are fun, alive, and contain beautiful truth that God can most definitely stamp on the hearts of children. It was such a blessing to tell them about how Joseph could forgive his brother's, because he saw God and His purpose to rescue His people in the coming famine. Great story that illustrates the gospel so powerfully.

For dinner I met with a member of our Launch Team, whose English name is Isaac. We ate at a great mexican restaurant (I really do eat Korean food, by the way, and really love it--just didn't eat it much today), and had a wonderful time of fellowship. We talked about Isaac's struggles with his job, as his business (like many in Korea) is plagued with cheating and unjust practices that make it really tough for him. Many Korean professionals are overly burdened and in bondage to their job, as there working hours and requirements will often go well into the night and leave little to no time for Father's to be with their families. Isaac spoke a lot about these difficulties, though he isn't married yet, and how it is causing the divorce rate to sky rocket, leaving Korean families in a worse state than ever before. Isaac was even asked by his Christian boss, as the boss asks all interviewees, whether or not he values work or family more. Isaac was the only one who said family out of 12 people, and his boss ridiculed him for it. There is brokeness everywhere, but thankfully God's grace can and does extend to any and all people and places. I pray that God uses this ministry to really bless and comfort people like Isaac, to reveal to them the grace and love of God that saves and keeps us always. It was a joy to share fellowship and the love of Christ with him tonight, and to get to know him more.

Please be praying for Jae Yoo. After getting home at around 10p.m, he called me and has been having some severe back pain. Before I left him tonight, his back pain was beginning, and it later was so bad that he couldn't move for around 30 minutes. His wife Hannah and daughter Hara had to drag and carry him to a medical clinc to get him an acupuncture. He's still in severe pain after receiving treatment, and it would be great if you could be lifting him up to God in prayer. Pray that God would guard and heal him quickly, even as he is beginning to preach this coming Sunday and has a lot on his plate. Pray that all of us would rest in the peace and purpose of God for our growth in Christ at all times in all the trials, joys, and struggles we face.

So long from Korea, and may God's presence and peace fill your hearts and lives this day and always.