Everyday, Unseen Warfare

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves" -- Philippians 2:3

"The desire to be God rather than to serve God lies at the bottom of every sin that anyone has ever committed...sin is rooted in my unwillingness to find joy in living my life under the authority of, and for the glory of, Another. Sin is rooted in my desire to live for me. It's driven by my propensity to indulge my every feeling, satisfy my every desire, and meet my every need" --Paul David Tripp, White As Snow

If there's one thing that being in full-time ministry teaches, it's the humbling truth of how far I fall short of the glory of God and true, humble, Christ-centered, other-centered service. Often, though, to be honest with you, I don't sense my sin. Many days I'm not even aware of any personal sin. I keep trudging forward in the name of Jesus, teaching, helping in outreach events, planning with Jae and Hannah Yoo, and spending time with different people without a sense of conviction of sin. Sin is so much more subtle than I want to believe. I think of sin as something outward, a list of right and wrongs, something big and obvious to my own human eyes. Thankfully, after a course of several days, God graciously and patiently removes the scales from my eyes to reveal the true, active, living, breathing evil of my heart--my attempts for self-glory, self-worship, a self-made Kingdom, all in the name of Jesus. I don't want to think of my sin in that light, not in those terms. I'm just a little selfish, tired, and frustrated like everybody else. But then, as in the past couple of days, the frightening and undeniable truth hits: my prayers are mere repititions of words with no feeling, awe, or eyes to God's glory; my time in God's word is brief, dry, and self-focused; my service is anything but service but an attempt to gain favor from the Yoo's, those I minister to, and all of you back home, so that I can tell great, vibrant, wonderful stories of how God's working in ME, through ME, concerning ME, and MY life, all in the name of Jesus. I am far more prideful than I know, and a far worse sinner than I or most people perceive. The awful thing about it all is that my unnoticed self-made Kingdom plans for my glory and reputation in the name of Jesus produce nothing but a lukewarm, stale, deadening, soul-killing misery. James couldn't have said it better: "where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice" (3:16). In other words, selfish ambition is at the core of every sin and evil known to man. Sin is utter self-absorbtion that causes crippling envy, which leads to never being able to "Rejoice with those who rejoice" but to live with a false sense of entitlement like the older, seemingly "better" brother in the Parable of the Prodigle Son. This sin destroys any true, lasting relationship and community, since people are solely defined as significant in so far as their relation to me. It's so easy to see sin in others; but when it comes to facing my own personal sin, I am blind. Rather than hiding in Christ, I hide in my own self-justifying reasons for my failures, neglecting to see the heart and root of every sin. Regardless of how evil I or others would qualify individual sins, the fact of the matter is that every sin I commit contains the same root evil as Paul Tripp in the above quote shows: "The desire to be God rather than to serve God."

How far short I fall from true, servant-minded, other-centered love. How great my need for Jesus is! When I think I see the gospel, my heart is often blinded to its never-ending, soul-stirring, spirit-restoring power that I need every moment of every day. Oh! that I would see Jesus Christ and his deep, incomprehensible, deep, wide, life-changing, breathtaking love and be transformed! Only Jesus can make you and I see and follow the wisdom and beauty of the gospel: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility count others as more significant than yourselves." I like to think I have a high and loving view of others, but what does my heart reveal? What does my prayer life reveal? What does my walk with God reveal? What does the way I use my time reveal? What does my interaction with others reveal? What does the thoughts and meditations of my heart in this ministry and in my life here reveal? Most of the time, it reveals an incessant, mind-numbing preoccupation with my own significance and attempts of self-exaltation, rather than a continual, Christ-centered, servant-led preoccupation with the significance of others and growth in humility. How twisted and perverse my sin is, especially in view of Jesus Christ. For, the above verse is grounded not in any attempt at humility that you or I are capable of. No, the truth about humility is that we can't gain it or work toward it in our own efforts. We can only be humbled through having the Spirit of God show us the captivating beauty, pure holiness, and perfect love of Jesus Christ, "who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness" (Philippians 2:6-7). The only one who is rightly more significant than every human being on the planet was the only one who purely and truly considered others as more significant than himself. This wasn't a mere moment or season of such humility and love, even as Christ gave up his life, reputation, and beauty to die a miserable, God-forsaking death, so that we could be holy, beautiful, blameless, and embraced as beloved children of God. Yet, even so, it was Jesus' joy to die such a death out of submission to His Father's will and a desire for us to share in their fellowship and glory!

Oh God, my Father, I don't know the slightest thing about the nature of ministry, service, love, and humility. Rather than seeking to grow in my own efforts, I need to behold your glory in the face of Jesus Christ that thoughts of self and my own significance would banish in the blinding light and transcending beauty of your Son, the radiance of your glory!

I've been really convicted and shaken by Ephesians 6. Life, often, doesn't feel like warfare, even as sin works far more subtly and deeply than my eyes can see. Yet, I am deceived, for what I see as a lukewarm, "ok" state is actually my own wicked self and Satan attacking and blinding my heart to the inner workings of evil in me that keep me from embracing the gospel through seeing my need for Jesus. That is why Paul begins this section on spiritual warfare, urging us to "be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power", for we don't have the strength in ourselves to fight or even to see that we are in battle (6:10). The next verses continue to reveal the unseen nature of this warfare that we are helpless to see or fight apart from God's intervening strength and grace: "Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand" (Ephesians 6:11-13). We are called to fight against the devil's schemes, which are not readily and clearly manifested in most occasions and days but that come to us subtly in our hearts and that deaden our souls to the beauty and light of Jesus and the gospel, leaving us unprepared and unequipped to face the day of evil when it comes. In 2 Corinthians 2:11 Paul, after speaking of false prophets of Christ who boast not in the cross but in themselves, reveals the subtle evil we often miss that Satan embodies: "And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light." What's more Satan's job description is given before this passage in 2 Corinthians 4:4: "The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God." Satan takes beauty, goodness, blessing and twists, perverts, distorts, blinds so subtly that we can barely tell the difference. What's more he appeals to our own sense of significance and love of self, making everything about us, even ministry in Jesus' name. This is warfare! Battle! Yet, it comes in passing, subconscious, subtle, unexamined thoughts and meditations in our hearts, as Satan blinds us to his schemes and tactics that seek to rob God of his glory and us of our only hope and joy in Christ Jesus and the gospel. The only way to overcome in battle is to arm ourselves with Christ and the gospel, the very thing Satan is trying to blind us to and keep our hearts and minds away from. Why? Because the gospel alone can expose the core reality and condition of our sinful hearts, leading us to repentance and faith. Because the gospel alone can lead us to see the misery and foolishness of seeking joy through ourselves and our own significance, showing us that the far greater and only way to joy is the way of death, the way of the cross, the way of Christ. Because the gospel is the only true weapon that can utterly demolish and destroy Satan's core attack that appeals to our own love for self, since the gospel humbles us as great, specific sinners and brings us the freedom and joy and acceptance of living defined in Jesus Christ and his significance, salvation, righteousness, holiness, and love.

What is so beautiful is that if you study the armor of God we are called to put on in Ephesians 6 every single weapon points back in the Old Testament to Jesus Christ, who "put on righteousness as his breastplate, and the helmet of salvation on his head" (Isaiah 59:17). In other words, we are not called to put on self-righteousness as our breastplate, and seek to fight Satan with weapons of our own making and work. We are called to nothing less and nothing more than putting on Christ, who has stared death in the face and destroyed its power and sting, making a mockery of its power and Satan's schemes of evil, and ushering forth the unbreakable Kingdom of God through the gospel of His grace. We don't fight evil with the weapons of this world. We don't fight evil for the things of this world. We fight in the certainty of victory through Christ both for our salvation and for our perseverance in this life. Paul knew this power and fought in it, even as he urges the Ephesian church to pray for what is most valuable and unshakable: "Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should" (6:19-20; italics are mine). What seems to be the greatest need for Paul that we would feel in his situation? He is in chains. He needs to be released, so that he can help lead the Ephesian church in the gospel. He needs to be released so that he can do the actual work of ministry, right? NO! What shapes Paul's vision, need, and fight is not himself as a leader (the church doesn't rest on Paul's or any minister's strength or ability to serve, teach, lead, and preach), nor does Paul's vision rest in his own personal circumstances that Satan leads our often self-deceived hearts to center all of life around, but it is nothing less and nothing more than the mystery of the gospel! THE GOSPEL shapes Paul's identity, even as he defines his situation according to a greater power and Sovereign King: "the mystery of the gospel for which I am an ambassador in chains." The gospel is truly unshakable! Thus, as Paul rests in it, so it is that he is untouchable to Satan and his schemes, since he is resting his identity and ministry on the firm, sold rock foundation of the gospel! This is the same powerful gospel that led Paul to proclaim in the face of life's greatest burdens, warfare, and hardship, even death, that "we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:37-39). Satan's schemes lose all power, luster, and light in the greater, blinding light of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ! Such light exposes sin and all Satan's schemes in their deceit, ugliness, joy-killing, and soul-deadening ends, exposing the folly of sin and Satan's appeals to our own significance and worship meant to destroy us. Furthermore, this wondrous light leads us to an unbreakable Kingdom, an unfading inheritance, and an unchanging gospel that frees, liberates, and provides more than our hearts ever knew, desired, or imagined through worship of the all-faithful, almighty, all-powerful, only wise God who made us for nothing less than His glory.

Glorious, beautiful Father, oh that you would give me eyes to always behold and stand in awe of your glory in Jesus! Oh that my soul would delight and feed on Christ alone, never settling for my own paltry, weightless, joyless samples of self-seeking glory in ministry and living. Fix my eyes, heart, joy, heart, treasure, motivation, and being on Jesus and him alone. Destroy all my personal attempts to exalt myself, humbling me before the throne and cross of Christ that I might find life through death, fellowship in suffering, and exaltation through humility. Enable me to see and battle in warfare in the midst of an often seemingly mundane, me-oriented, mundane world as defined by the world's values and focus on the glamorous, self-exalting, and seen. May I continually fight the good fight of faith through the infinite power and all-sufficient grace of Jesus Christ, who has given me everything I need for life and godliness. May I never settle for anything less than the glory and majesty of my Father God in the light of His victorious gospel that can truly bring peace, joy, hope, and life to all nations and all peoples and break through all evil, sin, and death through the death and resurrection of Jesus.

Friends, family thank you so much for your love and support. What a joy to know that none of us are ever alone in battle but that our God, who is mighty to save, always goes before us and leads us in triumphal procession through Jesus Christ in all times and circumstances. I pray that you would be encouraged, built up, strengthened, and made alive through Christ in whatever difficulties, joys, burdens, or trials you are facing. Christ is greater! He is able and willing to save! He doesn't grow tired or weary in His pursuit of us, as we often do in our pursuit of Him; rather, He is patient, longsuffering, relentless, and unwavering in His pursuit of us. May your heart's focus be on the One who lived to die for you, not as a duty but as His great joy and treasured possession. You are the beloved, holy children of God. May you live based on that certain, unchanging identity and status that is yours in Christ. He will be faithful to complete the work He has begun in you. Please know that you're in my thoughts and prayers, and that more importantly you are always being prayed for and fought for through the constant intercession of your High Priest and Savior, Jesus Christ.