Wednesday in Korea

Mornings in Korea are one of my favorite parts of each day. At 10a.m. each work day, Jae, Hannah, and I meet in our Church Office, one of us shares a Scriptural devotional, we talk about what we have to do for the day, and then we pray together. For all of us, this time has become one of the most vital, enjoyable, and important parts of our ministry. In it, God forms our hearts through His word and prayer to entrust ourselves and this Church to His will, purpose, and faithfulness. This morning it was my turn to share the devotional, and I shared about God's unrelenting commitment to loving and pursuing us, His people, in some of the most beautiful and striking passages in Scripture: Isaiah 53:1-5; 54:1, 4-10; and 55:1-3. As you know from reading many of my blogs, I'm a great sinner that thinks of myself and my own significance and plans far too much. The past few days I've been very weary over myself and my sin, wanting so desperately to be free of me. I was utterly shaken and awe-struck in viewing these Scriptures, as Christ took on our ugliness and shame, giving up His beauty, so that we could be made beautiful. The way in which God speaks to us, His people, in this passage is astounding. He speaks as a husband to a humiliated barren woman, that feels ashamed and worthless by the culture and everyone. But God redefines her by identifying Himself as her husband, saying such calming and striking words of compassion: "Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood" (Isaiah 54:4). Shame and fear plague every soul that has ever existed. We constantly wear coverings in a desperate attempt to hide the ugliness inside of us. Whether it's fig leaves, fashionable clothes, external beauty, ministry, good works, friends, or whatever else, we are experts in trying to cover our shame and fear. The beautiful thing that God does is that He sees us completely naked and exposed in our fear and shame, and HE covers us with Himself. He takes hold of our ugliness, becomes it, and makes us beautiful through His Son, so that we no longer have to fear or face shame. How amazing to be reminded of this, and to know that though I tire of myself that God never does. He never will abandon, forsake, or get tired of any of His people. As He Himself says, "Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed, says the Lord, who has compassion on you" (54:10). The beauty of Jesus is beyond anything I will ever be able to understand, communicate, or feel, and how sweet to taste of it this morning!

After the devotional and time of prayer, I spent a good portion of the day finishing the bulletin for our Launch Team Worship service this coming Sunday! I am in charge of putting all the information together for the bulletin, and then a friend and member of our Launch Team will design the bulletin to actually make it artistic and creative. It has been a really fun process, and we are so excited to begin worshiping as a body! Our first official worship service will be March 29th! We will not start off as a large church body, but we are really convinced that God is calling us to begin worshiping Him together, as a gospel-centered community with however many or few come. It really is such a blessing to be in this ministry with the Yoo's. They give me a lot of freedom and opportunity to serve, and I am so blessed to grow in relationship to them here.

For Lunch, after doing some work on the bulletin, Jae and I went out to eat at a wonderful steak restaurant. Each Wednesday Jae and I go out to eat to talk about how we're both doing personally and spiritually, which is such a source of growth and blessing. We had tenderloin steaks, salad, soup, and a little bowl of Ice Cream--not quite the authentic Korean meal, I know, but it was delicious! : ) The fellowship was also great, as we talked about the ministry, how we are both doing, and learning how to rest and live in the love of God in the midst of many different emotions and seasons of life. What a blessing Jae has been to me, as a brother, leader, pastor, and c0-ambassador of Jesus Christ.

This afternoon Jae and I went to pick out a movie for my Movies and Media Class that I have each Friday. This coming class we're going to watch a Korean movie (that thankfully has Korean subtitles), and it should be a great time, as always. The class is a whole lot of fun for getting to fellowship and talk to a group of Koreans and foreigners about different issues in the movies we watch, especially since it is such a great opportunity to share the love of Christ with nonbelievers who are coming. After renting the movie, I continued the final work on the bulletin, sent it to Dan Baker to help make it aesthetically pleasing, and then prepared for my Children's Bible Story Class this evening (the above picture shows the kids and I after class a few weeks ago--they're tons of fun!). Tonight, after first learning new vocabulary and playing some games, I shared about the story of Joseph, which is such an incredible story! Each week I am teaching these kids--most of which are nonbelievers and have never heard the Bible--about how these stories all show how the Bible is God's story of how He rescues His people (the awesome thing is that most of the kids can even recite and remember this definition for what the Bible is!). The stories of the Bible are fun, alive, and contain beautiful truth that God can most definitely stamp on the hearts of children. It was such a blessing to tell them about how Joseph could forgive his brother's, because he saw God and His purpose to rescue His people in the coming famine. Great story that illustrates the gospel so powerfully.

For dinner I met with a member of our Launch Team, whose English name is Isaac. We ate at a great mexican restaurant (I really do eat Korean food, by the way, and really love it--just didn't eat it much today), and had a wonderful time of fellowship. We talked about Isaac's struggles with his job, as his business (like many in Korea) is plagued with cheating and unjust practices that make it really tough for him. Many Korean professionals are overly burdened and in bondage to their job, as there working hours and requirements will often go well into the night and leave little to no time for Father's to be with their families. Isaac spoke a lot about these difficulties, though he isn't married yet, and how it is causing the divorce rate to sky rocket, leaving Korean families in a worse state than ever before. Isaac was even asked by his Christian boss, as the boss asks all interviewees, whether or not he values work or family more. Isaac was the only one who said family out of 12 people, and his boss ridiculed him for it. There is brokeness everywhere, but thankfully God's grace can and does extend to any and all people and places. I pray that God uses this ministry to really bless and comfort people like Isaac, to reveal to them the grace and love of God that saves and keeps us always. It was a joy to share fellowship and the love of Christ with him tonight, and to get to know him more.

Please be praying for Jae Yoo. After getting home at around 10p.m, he called me and has been having some severe back pain. Before I left him tonight, his back pain was beginning, and it later was so bad that he couldn't move for around 30 minutes. His wife Hannah and daughter Hara had to drag and carry him to a medical clinc to get him an acupuncture. He's still in severe pain after receiving treatment, and it would be great if you could be lifting him up to God in prayer. Pray that God would guard and heal him quickly, even as he is beginning to preach this coming Sunday and has a lot on his plate. Pray that all of us would rest in the peace and purpose of God for our growth in Christ at all times in all the trials, joys, and struggles we face.

So long from Korea, and may God's presence and peace fill your hearts and lives this day and always.

Everyday, Unseen Warfare

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves" -- Philippians 2:3

"The desire to be God rather than to serve God lies at the bottom of every sin that anyone has ever committed...sin is rooted in my unwillingness to find joy in living my life under the authority of, and for the glory of, Another. Sin is rooted in my desire to live for me. It's driven by my propensity to indulge my every feeling, satisfy my every desire, and meet my every need" --Paul David Tripp, White As Snow

If there's one thing that being in full-time ministry teaches, it's the humbling truth of how far I fall short of the glory of God and true, humble, Christ-centered, other-centered service. Often, though, to be honest with you, I don't sense my sin. Many days I'm not even aware of any personal sin. I keep trudging forward in the name of Jesus, teaching, helping in outreach events, planning with Jae and Hannah Yoo, and spending time with different people without a sense of conviction of sin. Sin is so much more subtle than I want to believe. I think of sin as something outward, a list of right and wrongs, something big and obvious to my own human eyes. Thankfully, after a course of several days, God graciously and patiently removes the scales from my eyes to reveal the true, active, living, breathing evil of my heart--my attempts for self-glory, self-worship, a self-made Kingdom, all in the name of Jesus. I don't want to think of my sin in that light, not in those terms. I'm just a little selfish, tired, and frustrated like everybody else. But then, as in the past couple of days, the frightening and undeniable truth hits: my prayers are mere repititions of words with no feeling, awe, or eyes to God's glory; my time in God's word is brief, dry, and self-focused; my service is anything but service but an attempt to gain favor from the Yoo's, those I minister to, and all of you back home, so that I can tell great, vibrant, wonderful stories of how God's working in ME, through ME, concerning ME, and MY life, all in the name of Jesus. I am far more prideful than I know, and a far worse sinner than I or most people perceive. The awful thing about it all is that my unnoticed self-made Kingdom plans for my glory and reputation in the name of Jesus produce nothing but a lukewarm, stale, deadening, soul-killing misery. James couldn't have said it better: "where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice" (3:16). In other words, selfish ambition is at the core of every sin and evil known to man. Sin is utter self-absorbtion that causes crippling envy, which leads to never being able to "Rejoice with those who rejoice" but to live with a false sense of entitlement like the older, seemingly "better" brother in the Parable of the Prodigle Son. This sin destroys any true, lasting relationship and community, since people are solely defined as significant in so far as their relation to me. It's so easy to see sin in others; but when it comes to facing my own personal sin, I am blind. Rather than hiding in Christ, I hide in my own self-justifying reasons for my failures, neglecting to see the heart and root of every sin. Regardless of how evil I or others would qualify individual sins, the fact of the matter is that every sin I commit contains the same root evil as Paul Tripp in the above quote shows: "The desire to be God rather than to serve God."

How far short I fall from true, servant-minded, other-centered love. How great my need for Jesus is! When I think I see the gospel, my heart is often blinded to its never-ending, soul-stirring, spirit-restoring power that I need every moment of every day. Oh! that I would see Jesus Christ and his deep, incomprehensible, deep, wide, life-changing, breathtaking love and be transformed! Only Jesus can make you and I see and follow the wisdom and beauty of the gospel: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility count others as more significant than yourselves." I like to think I have a high and loving view of others, but what does my heart reveal? What does my prayer life reveal? What does my walk with God reveal? What does the way I use my time reveal? What does my interaction with others reveal? What does the thoughts and meditations of my heart in this ministry and in my life here reveal? Most of the time, it reveals an incessant, mind-numbing preoccupation with my own significance and attempts of self-exaltation, rather than a continual, Christ-centered, servant-led preoccupation with the significance of others and growth in humility. How twisted and perverse my sin is, especially in view of Jesus Christ. For, the above verse is grounded not in any attempt at humility that you or I are capable of. No, the truth about humility is that we can't gain it or work toward it in our own efforts. We can only be humbled through having the Spirit of God show us the captivating beauty, pure holiness, and perfect love of Jesus Christ, "who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness" (Philippians 2:6-7). The only one who is rightly more significant than every human being on the planet was the only one who purely and truly considered others as more significant than himself. This wasn't a mere moment or season of such humility and love, even as Christ gave up his life, reputation, and beauty to die a miserable, God-forsaking death, so that we could be holy, beautiful, blameless, and embraced as beloved children of God. Yet, even so, it was Jesus' joy to die such a death out of submission to His Father's will and a desire for us to share in their fellowship and glory!

Oh God, my Father, I don't know the slightest thing about the nature of ministry, service, love, and humility. Rather than seeking to grow in my own efforts, I need to behold your glory in the face of Jesus Christ that thoughts of self and my own significance would banish in the blinding light and transcending beauty of your Son, the radiance of your glory!

I've been really convicted and shaken by Ephesians 6. Life, often, doesn't feel like warfare, even as sin works far more subtly and deeply than my eyes can see. Yet, I am deceived, for what I see as a lukewarm, "ok" state is actually my own wicked self and Satan attacking and blinding my heart to the inner workings of evil in me that keep me from embracing the gospel through seeing my need for Jesus. That is why Paul begins this section on spiritual warfare, urging us to "be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power", for we don't have the strength in ourselves to fight or even to see that we are in battle (6:10). The next verses continue to reveal the unseen nature of this warfare that we are helpless to see or fight apart from God's intervening strength and grace: "Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand" (Ephesians 6:11-13). We are called to fight against the devil's schemes, which are not readily and clearly manifested in most occasions and days but that come to us subtly in our hearts and that deaden our souls to the beauty and light of Jesus and the gospel, leaving us unprepared and unequipped to face the day of evil when it comes. In 2 Corinthians 2:11 Paul, after speaking of false prophets of Christ who boast not in the cross but in themselves, reveals the subtle evil we often miss that Satan embodies: "And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light." What's more Satan's job description is given before this passage in 2 Corinthians 4:4: "The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God." Satan takes beauty, goodness, blessing and twists, perverts, distorts, blinds so subtly that we can barely tell the difference. What's more he appeals to our own sense of significance and love of self, making everything about us, even ministry in Jesus' name. This is warfare! Battle! Yet, it comes in passing, subconscious, subtle, unexamined thoughts and meditations in our hearts, as Satan blinds us to his schemes and tactics that seek to rob God of his glory and us of our only hope and joy in Christ Jesus and the gospel. The only way to overcome in battle is to arm ourselves with Christ and the gospel, the very thing Satan is trying to blind us to and keep our hearts and minds away from. Why? Because the gospel alone can expose the core reality and condition of our sinful hearts, leading us to repentance and faith. Because the gospel alone can lead us to see the misery and foolishness of seeking joy through ourselves and our own significance, showing us that the far greater and only way to joy is the way of death, the way of the cross, the way of Christ. Because the gospel is the only true weapon that can utterly demolish and destroy Satan's core attack that appeals to our own love for self, since the gospel humbles us as great, specific sinners and brings us the freedom and joy and acceptance of living defined in Jesus Christ and his significance, salvation, righteousness, holiness, and love.

What is so beautiful is that if you study the armor of God we are called to put on in Ephesians 6 every single weapon points back in the Old Testament to Jesus Christ, who "put on righteousness as his breastplate, and the helmet of salvation on his head" (Isaiah 59:17). In other words, we are not called to put on self-righteousness as our breastplate, and seek to fight Satan with weapons of our own making and work. We are called to nothing less and nothing more than putting on Christ, who has stared death in the face and destroyed its power and sting, making a mockery of its power and Satan's schemes of evil, and ushering forth the unbreakable Kingdom of God through the gospel of His grace. We don't fight evil with the weapons of this world. We don't fight evil for the things of this world. We fight in the certainty of victory through Christ both for our salvation and for our perseverance in this life. Paul knew this power and fought in it, even as he urges the Ephesian church to pray for what is most valuable and unshakable: "Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should" (6:19-20; italics are mine). What seems to be the greatest need for Paul that we would feel in his situation? He is in chains. He needs to be released, so that he can help lead the Ephesian church in the gospel. He needs to be released so that he can do the actual work of ministry, right? NO! What shapes Paul's vision, need, and fight is not himself as a leader (the church doesn't rest on Paul's or any minister's strength or ability to serve, teach, lead, and preach), nor does Paul's vision rest in his own personal circumstances that Satan leads our often self-deceived hearts to center all of life around, but it is nothing less and nothing more than the mystery of the gospel! THE GOSPEL shapes Paul's identity, even as he defines his situation according to a greater power and Sovereign King: "the mystery of the gospel for which I am an ambassador in chains." The gospel is truly unshakable! Thus, as Paul rests in it, so it is that he is untouchable to Satan and his schemes, since he is resting his identity and ministry on the firm, sold rock foundation of the gospel! This is the same powerful gospel that led Paul to proclaim in the face of life's greatest burdens, warfare, and hardship, even death, that "we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:37-39). Satan's schemes lose all power, luster, and light in the greater, blinding light of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ! Such light exposes sin and all Satan's schemes in their deceit, ugliness, joy-killing, and soul-deadening ends, exposing the folly of sin and Satan's appeals to our own significance and worship meant to destroy us. Furthermore, this wondrous light leads us to an unbreakable Kingdom, an unfading inheritance, and an unchanging gospel that frees, liberates, and provides more than our hearts ever knew, desired, or imagined through worship of the all-faithful, almighty, all-powerful, only wise God who made us for nothing less than His glory.

Glorious, beautiful Father, oh that you would give me eyes to always behold and stand in awe of your glory in Jesus! Oh that my soul would delight and feed on Christ alone, never settling for my own paltry, weightless, joyless samples of self-seeking glory in ministry and living. Fix my eyes, heart, joy, heart, treasure, motivation, and being on Jesus and him alone. Destroy all my personal attempts to exalt myself, humbling me before the throne and cross of Christ that I might find life through death, fellowship in suffering, and exaltation through humility. Enable me to see and battle in warfare in the midst of an often seemingly mundane, me-oriented, mundane world as defined by the world's values and focus on the glamorous, self-exalting, and seen. May I continually fight the good fight of faith through the infinite power and all-sufficient grace of Jesus Christ, who has given me everything I need for life and godliness. May I never settle for anything less than the glory and majesty of my Father God in the light of His victorious gospel that can truly bring peace, joy, hope, and life to all nations and all peoples and break through all evil, sin, and death through the death and resurrection of Jesus.

Friends, family thank you so much for your love and support. What a joy to know that none of us are ever alone in battle but that our God, who is mighty to save, always goes before us and leads us in triumphal procession through Jesus Christ in all times and circumstances. I pray that you would be encouraged, built up, strengthened, and made alive through Christ in whatever difficulties, joys, burdens, or trials you are facing. Christ is greater! He is able and willing to save! He doesn't grow tired or weary in His pursuit of us, as we often do in our pursuit of Him; rather, He is patient, longsuffering, relentless, and unwavering in His pursuit of us. May your heart's focus be on the One who lived to die for you, not as a duty but as His great joy and treasured possession. You are the beloved, holy children of God. May you live based on that certain, unchanging identity and status that is yours in Christ. He will be faithful to complete the work He has begun in you. Please know that you're in my thoughts and prayers, and that more importantly you are always being prayed for and fought for through the constant intercession of your High Priest and Savior, Jesus Christ.